Never had a chance...

  So basically I am tired of keeping this in and even though this may make some people unhappy/uncomfortable/angry...I don't care.  Why?  Because not ONCE have MY feelings been taken into consideration!

  11 years ago I met my soul mate.  We were young...yes.  I had two kids...yes.  He took them in as his own and we fell for each other and we were happy.  Then...I met his mom! 

  I never had a chance with that woman.  I am a caring, loving, sweet, honest woman.  She only saw a single teen mom wanting a father for her kids.  Our first meeting was cold and I will never forget how she introduced herself to me, "Hi I'm Rhonda...well Mrs. Steen to YOU!"  Oh wow ok!  Let's just say the "meeting" ended with me in tears walking out.  Not a very good first meeting the parents.  Lol!

  When they saw Jed wasn't going to just leave me and that he was sticking around she became faker than silicone boobies!  She has said things and judged me for 11 years.  In the beginning I was a bigger girl...we all know this.  One lil piece of advice she gave her son was that bigger girls have more medical bills.  Yes...she said, "Don't you think she is a bit big?  Bigger people have more medical bills."  Wow.  She has judged me for having tattoos, saying trashy people have tattoos.  Sorry honey...I am far from trashy. The only time she has EVER said she loved me was followed by, "As my son's wife." 

   I have held my tongue for Jed's sake.  But now I am DONE!  After the last conversation Jed had with her and her telling him that she thinks he would have been a better man without me!  Please!  

  Yes...in the 11 years we have been married there have been hard times, bad times...we have both messed up and I take full responsibility for my wrong doings.  Jed also has taken responsibility for his.  That is between US...she only wants to focus on my mistakes and she doesn't know the HALF of it...why?  Because she has NEVER given me a chance!

  Birthdays have passed, hospital stays have passed ect. without hearing from her.  She to me has no heart and if she does...it's frozen!  

  To me it is SO sad that my ex's mother cares about me and contacts me on holidays and during trying times.  Birgit tells Jed and I how proud she is of us.  How we are wonderful parents and how much she loves and cares about BOTH of us!  That is a woman with a heart!   Sadly I have never heard anything like this from my mother-in-law because my mother-in-law could care less.  

  I have held my thoughts in, let her treat me like shit, done nothing but smile and take it.  11 years now...I am sticking up for ME!  I am done being treated poorly by this woman and I don't deserve it!  I am not being true to me if I don't stand up for myself!.  I don't need her.  Sadly what I don't think SHE realizes is it hurts Jed.  Jed should never have to choose between his mother and wife, but she has gone too far and now he has distanced himself from her.  I feel so bad for him and I love him so much that it just makes me dislike her even more.

  I have said the whole, "Maybe someday she will come around." But seriously?  11 freaking years?  No.  She won't.  That was freeing...getting that all off my chest.  

  Never had a chance...and never will.